1.4. My thoughts and feelings about using
A new and different perspective
By considering some new perspectives on the use of CSAM, you can clarify your own thoughts and feelings about your use of CSAM and challenge any defensive thoughts that you may use to justify your harmful behavior.
Sometimes looking at a situation from different perspectives may give rise to new thoughts and feelings. This can be difficult, but it is part of the process. Give yourself time to learn new skills.
There are many important perspectives on the use
There are a number of perspectives on the use of CSAM, including your own perspective, the perspective of the victim (the child), and the perspective of society as a whole.
It is important to consider each perspective to fully understand your own thoughts and feelings about your use of CSAM.
a. Your perspective
b. Victim’s (child’s) perspective
c. Society’s perspective
My thoughts and feelings about using CSAM & looking at other perspectives
Reflect on the following questions and write down your answers:
Your perspective on CSAM
- When and how did you start searching for or using CSAM?
- What makes you start searching for CSAM?
- When thinking back, what has the use of CSAM been like for you?
- How often do you search for and use CSAM?
- What are your reasons or motives for searching for and using CSAM?
- What needs do you fulfil by using CSAM?
- What factors make you vulnerable to wanting to use CSAM?
- E.g. use of drugs or alcohol, stressful events in the environment, intense emotions (anger, fear, sadness, loneliness).
- What is the triggering event that sets off a chain of events that lead you to use CSAM?
- What exact event often starts the chain of events that cause you to search for and use CSAM?
- When did the problem start?
- What is going on the moment the triggering event starts?
- What are you doing, thinking, feeling, imagining at the time?
- What is your mood when searching for and using CSAM?
- How do your thoughts and feelings make you behave? What takes you closer to using CSAM?
- How do you justify your use of CSAM?
- What defensive thoughts do you have which give you permission to use CSAM? E.g. do you tell yourself that your use of CSAM doesn’t harm anyone?
- How do you feel while using CSAM?
- How do you feel after using CSAM?
- What kind of thoughts do you have while watching CSAM?
- What kind of thoughts do you have after watching CSAM?
- What do you think is happening in CSAM images and videos?
Victim's (child's) perspective
- From the child’s perspective, what is happening in CSAM images and videos?
- What might the child feel about the child sexual abuse and the persons abusing him/her?
- What might be the child’s thoughts after his/her sexual abuse?
- What might the child think of the persons abusing him/her?
- What might the child think of the persons watching CSAM depicting him/her?
- What do you think about persons who use CSAM?
- What do your friends/family/colleagues think about persons who use CSAM?
- What do the legal authorities think about persons who use CSAM?
- What are the legal consequences for persons who use CSAM?
After considering these new perspectives;
- How do you feel about your own use of CSAM?
- What new thoughts and feelings do you have?
Take your time to process any new emotions.