6.2. Setting goals
ReDirection towards a meaningful life
Many of us have attempted change our behavior in some way but have failed in doing so. For example, many people want to get healthier, but they set unrealistic goals (e.g. going to the gym every day), which often lead to failure and disappointment.
To increase your chances of success, set SMART goals for yourself, which are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-limited. Having a good goal will make you more likely to achieve it.
Specify the main goal you want to achieve. Now specify the concrete steps you need to take to reach your goal. It is useful to divide the goal into smaller steps. It is especially helpful to think about the concrete actions you can take already now: today, this week, this month.
Define how you can assess reaching your goal and realizing the necessary steps. How will you know when you have reached your goal?
Is it realistic that you will meet your goal? If your goal is to stop using CSAM straight away, this might be unrealistic for some people. A long-term plan to change your behavior over time may be more attainable.
Is your goal relevant or meaningful to you and your well-being?
Establish a timetable for reaching each smaller goal and the bigger goal.
You can begin to rule out impossible or unsuitable measures that you wrote down in the table in the previous exercise. Pick out the most important or suitable means and begin to make a concrete plan on how you could make use of them.
Now set goals for yourself regarding the GLM-needs that you are aiming to fulfil through your use of CSAM. Start by setting your main goal, e.g. “I accept the difficult feelings I struggle with, and I share my problems with someone close to me”. After this, divide the man goal into smaller goals, and list out the things you will need to do to meet those smaller goals. It is important that in your goals you aim to go “toward something”, not “away” from something”.
After making a plan on how to meet your goals, think about the skills and resources that you will need to achieve your goals.
- Which skills do you already have, and which skills do you need to work on?
- Think about the possible obstacles you might face on your path, and how you can avoid or overcome such obstacles.
E.g. “I do not think that my abilities to control my emotions are very strong, therefore I will list out situations in which I have been able to control my emotions and have managed with them. If I begin to lose faith, I read through the list and remind myself that I have been able to do this before and I only feel that I will not be able to do it although I know I can”.
The GLM need: ____________________
The main goal related to the GLM need: ________________________
- Small goal to meet in one week, and concrete steps/measures to meet the goal
- Small goal to meet in one month, and the concrete steps/measures to meet the goal
- Small goal to meet in six months, and the concrete steps/measures to meet the goal
- Small goal to meet in 12 months, and the concrete steps/measures to meet the goal
- Small goal to meet in three years, and the concrete steps/measures to meet the goal
My strengths, skills, and abilities that allow me to meet my goals: ____________________
Obstacles that may make is difficult for me to meet my goals, and how I overcome/solve them: ____________________
Other things to note: ____________________