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6.5. Compassionate letter

It is important to practice having compassion for yourself. Everyone deserves a good and meaningful life, even though sometimes it may not seem like it.

By practicing compassion towards yourself, you can strengthen the feeling that you have the right to enjoy and good life, which is worth the effort you put towards working for it.

Having sexual interest in children is not accepted in society. This causes many individuals with sexual interest in children to internalize this negative feeling toward themselves. However, it is important to separate your thoughts and feelings from your actions. Feeling sexual attraction towards children is only one part of you as an individual, but it might grow to define you as a person.

Being compassionate towards yourself makes growth and learning possible, as you put aside your shame and acknowledge your progress and look forward to the life you want to live. Compassion allows you to move forward and change your behavior in line with your own values.​

Compassionate letter to yourself

Everyone has low moments when you feel like you are not good enough. In these moments, we may feel that we cannot change our behavior and we should just give up.

In these moments of doubt, compassion to yourself can help you build the path you want to be traveling on. You can try to help yourself through these tough moments by writing a compassionate letter to yourself.

Compassionate letter to yourself

You can write the letter in three different ways

1. From a friend to yourself

Imagine a friend who is smart, loving, and compassionate. Imagine that this friend sees all your strengths and weaknesses, including the things that you dislike about yourself. This friend understands that people are not perfect and their abilities are limited. The friend is kind, understanding, and forgiving.

Write a letter to yourself from the point of view of this friend and focus on what is on your mind/what is bothering you, what do you criticize yourself for. What would this friend say to you from the point of view of limitless compassion? If that friend were to suggest changes to you and your life, how would their compassion, support, and encouragement show through these suggestions?

After you have written the letter put it aside for a moment. Return to it later and read through it, really letting the words settle in. Feel the compassion, feel it sinking in, calming and comforting you. Love, connection, and acceptance are your right as an individual. To get those, you simply need to look within.

2. From you to a friend

Write a letter as if though you were talking to a dear friend who is struggling with and pondering similar questions as you are. What kinds of words of compassion and support would you show them? Read your letter, directing the words at yourself.

3. From compassionate you to yourself

Write a letter from the point of view of the compassionate you. This “part” of you wants to help you because he deeply cares about you. The aim is for your compassionate self to tell you “I love you and I do not want you to suffer”. Put the letter aside and read it later.

Writing and reading the letter can feel strange at first. However, it will get easier with practice. When you practice compassion toward yourself, imaging being like a kind friend to yourself. Remember that you are human with all your strengths and weaknesses. Flaws and ways in which you may lack are a part of humanity. Try to accept and take note of the uncomfortable thoughts without adding or removing anything from them. They are creations of your mind, and you can learn to live with them through practice.