Self-help program
6. Learn to accept thoughts and feelings
People often think that their thoughts or feelings are unshakable facts. In reality, a thought is just a thought and a feeling is just a feeling. They’re temporary.
Thoughts and feelings vary
Judgmental thinking increases distress. Sometimes in the morning, when we look in the mirror, we may think we are beautiful or handsome. At other times, we may think we’re unattractive. Neither is truer than the other—they’re just passing thoughts, also influenced by our mood.
Emotional states also vary—sometimes we feel sad, at other times happy. Nothing is permanent.
When you realize you’re criticizing yourself about something, make a note of it. Simply observe it. You can even sarcastically thank your mind for this blaming thought and try to let it go.
Thoughts and feelings are powerful, but you don’t have to act on them. Let them come like ocean waves or clouds in the sky. Some waves are bigger, others smaller. Some clouds move more slowly, others faster—but they don’t stay still.
Exercise: My self-critical thoughts
Goal
You learn to notice negative thoughts, write them down, and let them go. You understand that even though thoughts and feelings are powerful, you don’t have to act on them.
Instructions
Write down what kind of judgmental thoughts you have about yourself or others.
For each thought you record, think:
- Is this judgmental thought helpful?
- If not, can I try to let it go?