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Self-help program

2.2 My relationships and sexuality

People satisfy various needs, such as sexual needs, the need for intimacy, and the need for love, through relationships.

There are different types of relationships, including the following:

  • Romantic relationships
  • Sexual relationships
  • Friendships
  • Parent-child/family relationships

How are these needs and relationships being met in your life right now? How are your relationships related to your use of CSAM?

My relationships and sexuality

Reflect on the following questions and write down your answers

Romantic relationships
  • How satisfied are you with your romantic relationship(s)?
  • What would you like to change about your romantic relationship(s)?
  • If you are not in a romantic relationship, how do you feel about your romantic situation?
  • What things stop you from having a romantic relationship?
  • How has your use of CSAM affected your romantic relationships?
Sexual relationships
  • How satisfied are you with your sexual relationships?
  • How does CSAM fulfil your sexual needs?
  • How old were you when you started watching CSAM?
  • Do you have (primary) sexual interest in children?
    • If yes, what do you think about the fact that children are the target of your sexual needs?
    • If yes, how has your sexual interest in children affected your sexual relationships?
  • Do you feel sexual attraction towards adults?
  • If you do not have a primary sexual interest in children, what draws you to watching CSAM?
  • How satisfied are you with your personal relationships and friendships?
  • What things are you happy and unhappy about in your friendships?
  • What would you wish from your friendships that you currently don’t have?
  • What kind of friendships do you have (not many friends/a few close friends/lots of friends)?
  • How has your use of CSAM influenced your friendships?
Family relationships
  • How satisfied are you with your family relationships?
  • How would you describe your family relationships?
  • What would you like to change in your family relationships?
  • What is your family like? Who are your family members?
  • Which family member are you closest to? Who are you most distant from? Why?
  • Do you feel safe and accepted in your family?
  • Do any of your family members know that you are using CSAM?
Interacting with others
  • How easy is it for you to interact with other people?
  • What kind of people are easy and what kind of people are difficult to interact with?
  • How does your use of CSAM affect your interaction with other people?
Social perceptions
  • What do you think other people think about you?
  • What is your attitude towards other people?
  • Do other CSAM users impact you in any way?
  • How does your use of CSAM influence what you think others think of you?
Close relationships
  • Who are the most important people in your life at the moment?
  • In what way are they important to you?
  • Who do you feel close to?
  • Whom do you find it easy to feel intimate with?
  • Do you find it difficult to feel close to other people?
  • What role does CSAM play in the way you experience closeness with other people?


Approximately 15% of respondents to our survey mentioned that they have experienced difficulties in close relationships.

“I try to feel 16 years old because I had depression and not relationship with girl in my teen age.”

“I mean I am the helper for others I can't ask for help I don't have anyone so ... I am just a guy a gamer, I didn't have a relationship before. That's bad for a 21 year old.”

“hard time getting an erection.”

“It affects my actual adult healthy sex life.”

“I have never had a relationship.”

“Thoughts about the monster that I’ve become prevents me from keeping relationships and also makes me hate myself.”